20 Years of Hair

Early on, it was clear that I would be a heart throb. Stick straight hair, parted in the middle with a comb that stuck out of my back pocket… and yes, that is a genuine Members Only jacket.

Fast forward to first year in college… too many years in a garage band led me to believe having a haircut somewhere in between a mohawk and Moe from the Three Stooges would be a chick magnet.

Several months, and not nearly enough showers later, I fell head over heels with the girl I would end up marrying. In this picture she was wearing my clothes, although I seem to have been wearing her hair at the time.

Admit it, in 1987 everybody wanted to have the haircut Mel Gibson had in the first Lethal Weapon. I was no exception. This style was just one step away from the mighty mullet.

What do you really need to say about this one?

Fast forward again to sometime in the mid 90’s, the mullet had grown back into what could only be described as… well, if Cousin Itt from The Addams Family was thrown into a blender with a mullet… man I was a sexy bitch. So my dad asked me to go on a multi-day sailing trip which led me to realize lots of hair plus salt water and wind did not really mix. This led to what eye witnesses have called a “buzzmullet” - sheep sheared on top, and… yep, flowing golden locks in the back.

In 1996 my daughter was born. She was almost completely bald so I buzzed my head so she wouldn’t be the only one who looked like Mr. Clean. Sometime around then I decided it would be a good idea to quit my job and go into business myself, so my hair has been fairly quaffed for the better part of 10 years.

Armed with a freshly buzzed head and a bottle of Got 2b Shagged Out Texturizing Liquid Fiber, I have embarked on a quest to let my hair reclaim its glory. Where it will find itself is anyone’s guess, but it’s bound to be entertaining along the way.